SFF Saturday is a group of authors who post snippets of SFF prose and poetry for comment. You can check out other SFF Saturday posts, too.
My snippet is another few lines from a work in progress called Herald (at the moment). Eventually, the project be a fantasy loosely based on the Hundred Years War, but itβs in the very early draft stages.
My first snippet is here and the second is here. These lines follow those.
Denis knelt over another body. So many men, so much blood, and for what? To reclaim land given honorably to a foreign king one hundred years before? He turned the dead man over. The coat beneath the layers of gore and mud lacked heraldry and the clothes were not Revenan–an enemy soldier. This man was neither worthy by the princeβs count, nor one of their own.
The blood of the tiny Angth army should have coated this field–their nobles dead in the mud, feeding blood to the earth. Instead, unnamed Revenan dead would scream their names at the gods tonight.
Heart-sore, Denis climbed to his feet. There were other dead to count, others to name.
“I know his name.”
Ann Laurel Kopchik 
Great scene…enjoyed it!
Thank you!
Wow, epic. I can picture this clearly!!
Thanks for commenting!
Brrrr. Aftermath of a bloody battle – effective and compelling.
Thanks! That’s what I’m aiming for. Glad it worked!
So descriptive in so few words. Great job!
Thank you! Posting these snippets has gotten me to edit the unneeded words out. π You have to catch the attention in a short bit, so every word is important.
There were other dead to count, others to name.
βI know his name.β
This last part gave me chills, Ann! Great way to set the mood.
Enjoyed catching up on your other snippets!!
π Heidi
Thanks, Heidi! And thank you for reminding me about SFFSat!
A chilling moment mixed with such an interesting element–the naming. I definitely want to know who knows this soldier’s name and how.
Ah, thanks. π Denis is in for a bit of a surprise next week…
The aftermath of war is never pretty. But I wonder who spoke the last sentence.
Stay tuned. π
I love the last line. “I know his name.” So much emotion and so much mood in so few lines. You paint a beautiful picture of some thing so chilling.
Thank you!
“Instead, unnamed Revenan dead would scream their names at the gods tonight” This sentence, and the one before it, felt a bit awkward. However, I still felt the raw emotions you were trying to portray. Good job.
Thanks! Yeah, this is what I call a dog draft (rough rough)… there’s some awkward bits I need to smooth out.
Wow, wonderful snippet. Really puts you there at the scene.
Thanks for reading! π
Very touching scene – nice job!
BTW I really like the crinkled looking replies on your blog π
Thanks!
I can’t take credit for the crinkled paper. π It comes with the theme!
Such a powerful short scene. Wonderful job! =)
Thanks, Alexa!
This is a great scene. Loved the images they evoked, and love your use of language. I was a bit confused, though, whether or not the Angth were Revenan.
Thanks, Ceres!
They’re two different countries. π I’ll make a note to make that clearer once I start revising and expanding this.
Very intriguing and powerful scene.
π Thank you!
Captured the futility of war here. Drawing descriptions in an infinitely sad snippet.
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