Monthly Archives: September 2012

Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday

SFF Saturday is a group of authors who post snippets of SFF prose and poetry for comment. You can check out other SFF Saturday posts, too.

My snippet is another few lines from a work in progress called Herald (at the moment). Eventually, the project be a fantasy loosely based on the Hundred Years War, but it’s in the very early draft stages.

I posted the few lines two weeks ago, here. These lines follow those.

The others, those conscripted to die as fodder for the archers and horses? Their names mattered not, only their number. Their bodies would be turned, nameless, into the sodden earth unless a love one claimed their body and asked a pursuivant to speak the name of the dead. Weeks of marching and the sea stood between these dead and their families. There would be no such requests.

A necessary shame, the prince had said. Too many souls to name before the sun touched the horizon, before their ghosts rose and voiced their anguish.

Despite the order, the names Denis knew, he voiced. All pursuivants on the field did likewise, for they did not answer to the prince but to Soleil d’Or Herald.

Categories: SFF Saturday

Blogging at Five Scribes

Just a quick post to note that I’ve blogged over at Five Scribes recently. I talked about some of the things I learned while revising my latest book:

Tales from Revising: Less isn’t Always More.

Categories: Uncategorized

Another Happy Release Day!

Happy Release Day to Barbara DeLeo!

Her Indulgence, Contract for Marriage, was released this past Saturday!

I keep getting blessed to edit great writers and books set in neat places! Barbara’s book takes place in New Zealand. Her writing sizzles with tension from page one and her hero is hot, hot, hot!

And man, the book cover she got. *fans self*

Cover for Contract for Marriage by Barbara DeLeo

Here’s the blurb:

Pregnant and alone after her ex-lover’s death, magazine editor Ruby Fleming’s not about to give up her home to the man who broke her heart—until she discovers her mother left half of the estate to somebody else, and she realizes she’s trapped.

Property tycoon Christo Mantazis wants the one thing his riches can’t buy—the villa where his mother has lived and worked as housekeeper for forty years. That it’s the same house he was banished from after being caught making love to the owner’s irresistible daughter stirs up old memories and now he wants her more than ever.

When Christo offers a marriage of convenience, Ruby knows it’s the only way for them to get what they want. Ruby needs her baby to have the link to its past, Christo needs his mother to retain her home, and for him to have the child he could never father.

But it’s another need—to have Christo again—that Ruby must resist at all costs.

Categories: Editing

Deep Point of View: More on Third Person

Writing by Jeffrey James Pacres

Writing by Jeffrey James Pacres


To recap: As part of the In Your Write Mind Workshop I attended in July at Seton Hill University, I gave an hour-long class on Deep Point of View. I thought I might as well turn the class into a series of blog posts. This is the second one.

You can also check out Deep Point of View: Point of View, an Overview

More on Third Person

Third Person Point of View is the only POV where you can change the level of reader immersion into the character. With First Person, you’re pretty much locked into the POV. It’s that character, what that character thinks and feels, and what that character wants to report to the reader. In Second Person, the reader is also immersed into the character fully, since they more or less become that character. It’s like a video game where you’re interacting with the story as a character.

But with Third Person, since the reader isn’t necessarily sitting in the head or becoming the character, the author has the option of how deep to immerse the reader into the character. Or characters. The author also doesn’t have to stay at any one level of immersion. (In fact, chances are, they won’t).

So what are the levels of immersion? Well, there are different thoughts on that. Here are two of them.

Alicia Rasley, in The Power of Point of View, lists six levels:

  • Camera/objective – This is a view of observation, not interaction. Like a movie.
  • Action – The reader experiences the characters physical actions and reactions.
  • Perception – The reader experiences the actions, reactions, and the perceptions of the character (sees, hears, tastes, physically feels, etc.).
  • Thought – The reader experiences the thoughts of the character (what they’re planning, etc.).
  • Emotion – The reader experiences the emotions of the character. (who they love, what they hate, etc.).
  • Deep immersion/Voice – You get all of the above, plus the narrative takes on the voice of the character.

Orson Scott Card, in Characters & Viewpoint, lists four levels:

  • Omniscient – The reader sees all the characters do and think, but from a single, different, narrator’s perspective (i.e., not from one of the character’s view points)
  • Cinematic – The reader observes the characters, as in a movie (i.e., no narrator interjection or judgement).
  • Limited light penetration – The reader sees into the viewpoint character’s mind, but does not experience the scene as the character, but filtered through a narrator.
  • Limited deep penetration – The reader experiences the scene as the character does.

In addition to the levels of immersion, there are two main… let’s call them types of third person POV. You can see them hinted at in the levels of immersion:

  • Omniscient – Just what it says on the tin. In Omniscient third, the narrator sees and knows all, including the character’s–all of the characters–thoughts and feelings. The trick with Omniscient third is that the narrator is always the same. It’s the voice of a god telling the reader about the story.
  • Limited – Again, pretty much what it says. In this case, the viewpoint is limited to one character. If that character isn’t present in a scene, the reader doesn’t see it. However, you can have more than one limited third point of view in a story. Its just that you can’t jump points of view willy-nilly. Scene breaks are preferable, to let the reader know they’re moving heads now.

So that’s a little more about third person, on our way to examining Deep Point of View. Up next: What Deep POV is, What it isn’t, and Why First isn’t Deep POV.

Categories: Deep POV, Writing

Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday

I thought I’d give Science Fiction Fantasy Saturday a try.

SFF Saturday is a group of authors who post snippets of SFF prose and poetry for comment. You can check out other SFF Saturday posts, too.

My snippet is the opening lines of  a work in progress simply called Herald at this point. It’s the very beginning of an idea; more of a sketch than anything else. Eventually, the project be a fantasy loosely based on the Hundred Years War. However, I have far more research to do, first…

But this is one of those projects and characters that lingers in the back of my mind… so I thought I’d shake it out into the light a bit.

Whispers of names filled the air and tinged the sky gray in the afternoon sun. Denis de Mont combed the battlefield, his voice, his magic, adding to the haze above. He counted the dead. Set down a record of those whose names mattered.

Those who mattered. The prince’s words twisted like a blade in Denis’s heart. Their honored dead. Counts and barons. Landed nobles. Knights. Those names found their way to the Soleil d’Or Herald’s tent and twined themselves into ink and onto the pages of the Record of the Dead, written in the hand of the one who spoke their name.

Categories: SFF Saturday

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